1 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:07,600 Wahey! Wahey! 2 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:09,240 Oh, my God! 3 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:11,680 Well, that's ridiculous. 4 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:14,680 Oh-ho-ho-ho. I mean, where do you start? I know. Come to daddy. 5 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:17,440 Wow, wow, wow. Wow. What's that? What choice. Where do you start? 6 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:19,920 Um allora, per me, 7 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:24,040 una Pizza Diavola, per favore. 8 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:25,520 Grazie. 9 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:27,520 OK, one Pizza Diavola. 10 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,480 Prego. It's spicy, do you know that? 11 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:32,360 Si, yep, I know. Grazie. Ah, right. 12 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:36,360 OK. Um, I will also have a Pizza Diavolo, thank you. It's Diavola. 13 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,800 And do you know what, I will have a Pizza Diavolo, as well. Diavola. 14 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:41,560 Quattra. What? No, no, no, hang on. 15 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:43,560 So, that's four Pizza Diavolos? I'll get one as well. 16 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:45,760 Well, no, wait, Sam, we can't all order the same thing. 17 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:49,240 Why not? Because, you know, it makes us look very unsophisticated. 18 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:50,600 We are. And sheltered, 19 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:53,040 like we've all just escaped from some kind of clinic 20 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,800 and it's our first time in a restaurant. 21 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:58,120 Clinic? You're overthinking it a bit, hon. I mean, it's a bit... 22 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,960 We're all basically ordering meat on toast. 23 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:02,880 We may as well all eat out of one big trough. 24 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:05,520 Well, you order something else, then. Well, I ordered it first. 25 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,720 OK, well, I want a Pizza Diavole, so I'm getting one. 26 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,400 Yeah, me too. What's Maya having, Amy? 27 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:12,240 Yeah, she's just texting me now. OK. 28 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:13,680 Look, to be fair to Rachel, 29 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:17,600 if anyone wants the more expensive stuff, do order it. 30 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:19,920 You know, like the, erm, the ossobuco or something. 31 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,080 Ossobuco. Oh, God no. 32 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,840 I mean, it's all on the house, so we should get our money's worth. 33 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:25,520 What, as in their money's worth? 34 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,600 Cheers. Or maybe the polenta? 35 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:30,240 Nah. Anyone? Or anything with vegetables in? 36 00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:32,040 No, thanks. Come on. I'm happy. 37 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:34,080 Why would you have vegetables? Oh, please? 38 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:37,040 No? Go on, then, Rach, since it's you, I'll have a side salad. 39 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:39,200 Thank you, Dean. Amy? No worries, babe. 40 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:40,960 Well, I was going to order the sea bass, 41 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,920 but now I'm going to get the Pizza Diavola just to annoy you. 42 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,040 Brilliant, brilliant. Very clever. Very clever. 43 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:49,800 Yeah, now, I'd like the Spaghetti Alle Vongole, please. 44 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:51,040 Great. Well done, Sue. 45 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:53,280 Uh, which ones are the vongoles, again? 46 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:56,480 Erm, mussels...or clams. Oh, no, no, not that then, no. 47 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:58,080 Mussels or clams. It can mean either. 48 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,720 I'll just got with the, uh, Pizza Diavola, as well, actually. 49 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,840 Can't go wrong. Nice one, Granny. Old trusty. 50 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,560 And what about you, Bren, my love? 51 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:07,920 Oh, is she all right? What's happening? 52 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,640 And two garlic breads for Bren. Really? 53 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:11,280 Oh, my God. Bit dry. 54 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:14,560 Oh, and there's one more on the way who wants a spicy pepperoni pizza. 55 00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:17,040 Do you do that or is that just...? That's just another... 56 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,960 So that's eight... Eight Pizza Diavolas. ..Pizza Diavolas... 57 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,600 I just... I'm so sorry. ..two garlic breads, one side salad... 58 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:25,160 Mi dispiace. ..and a bottle of Chianti Classico. 59 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:28,480 That's the one. And also, could you please 60 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:31,360 hang my Russian hat somewhere? 61 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,960 Thank you. Yep. Dasvidaniya. 62 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,040 Huh? 63 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,200 I'm changing my order. 64 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,560 Oh, my God. You all right, Dad? 65 00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:43,360 Oh, that's heavy. 66 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:45,360 I mean, I guess that's the point, but still... 67 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,880 Well, don't sell the weights, Dad. I might want to use them. 68 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,120 As if, Sam. 69 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,960 You'd be better off using a cotton bud, mate. 70 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,360 Oh, you're funny. 71 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:53,880 Rach? Hmm? 72 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,160 I'm selling that umbrella. 73 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:56,480 What? Why? 74 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:58,200 Well, because we haven't used it in ages. 75 00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,920 Well, that's because it hasn't rained. 76 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,640 It doesn't mean it never will again. 77 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:03,360 Well, we've got raincoats. Oh, wow. 78 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:04,800 Yeah? We don't need it. 79 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:07,240 Anyway, you're the one that said I need to make some money, so... 80 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:08,680 Yeah, by getting a job, ideally, 81 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,480 not by selling all our possessions at the car-boot sale. 82 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:14,000 And those plates, are they going? Yeah, they're really naff. 83 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:15,600 Oh, what? I like those plates. 84 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,560 Stay out of it, Sam, all right, they're goners. 85 00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:19,400 Your mum's OKed it. DOORBELL DINGS 86 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:20,760 Doorbell. 87 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:23,400 Hey, Robin. All right, Paolo. Spielberg. 88 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,360 That's, uh, that's not a Scalextric. 89 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,560 No, I know, I decided to keep that in the end. 90 00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,360 Uh, you can have all these though, instead. 91 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:32,840 It's all my old salsa dancing gear. 92 00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:35,280 HE SNIFFS God, it might need a wash, sorry. 93 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:37,200 OK, cool. No, thanks, thanks, man. PHONE RINGS 94 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,520 Sorry. Oh, this is Mum. 95 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:41,040 Yello. 96 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:43,880 Yello, no, it's just another way to say hello, Mum. 97 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,680 Why are you selling your salsa gear, Robin? 98 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,280 Are you and Cherry not going anymore? 99 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,320 Well, you're half right. We're not going out anymore. 100 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,520 Oh, no, Robin. No, when did that happen? 101 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,600 Oh, about two weeks ago, 102 00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:58,200 when she got back from the Buddhist retreat. 103 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,440 Right. I think there's someone else, as well, 104 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:02,840 one of the other retreaters. What makes you think that? 105 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:05,280 Just gut instinct, really. 106 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:08,320 Plus, she's always meditating next to the same bloke's arm 107 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,120 in all the photos. Right. 108 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:13,360 Who is he, then? Iain, he's called. With two Is. 109 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,560 Right. Well, we've all got two eyes. 110 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,320 In his name, though. Right. Yeah. 111 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:18,640 Ah, God, I hate that. No, me too. 112 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,400 And he's an estate agent, as well. I mean, he sounds horrendous. 113 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:25,440 Doesn't he? OK, OK, action stations. Mum's on her way round with Alf. 114 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:27,440 Oh, wicked. Ah! Oh. 115 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:28,880 What? Who's Alf? 116 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:30,320 Mum's new boyfriend. Oh, right. 117 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,360 Or rather, old-man-friend. RACHEL LAUGHS 118 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,720 Anyway, I mean, he must be about 100. Stop it. 119 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:36,800 Ey-up, duck. Alf here. 120 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:40,400 Please, no, I think it's sweet. She gets all lonely on her own. 121 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,480 Cracking cheese, Gromit. 122 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:45,320 So, what is that? Alf's northern, then, is he? No idea. I don't know. 123 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:48,120 We just always imagine him to be northern for some reason. Yeah. 124 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,360 Trouble t'up mill, Mother. Uh... 125 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:52,480 THEY LAUGH 126 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:55,040 Stop it. Alf. Don't, no, stop. 127 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,600 No, cos Robin, look, he's all upset, 128 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,280 he's just broken up with Cherry again. 129 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,840 Yeah. Oh, no. Robin. 130 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:01,960 You too? 131 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,480 Yeah, well, how do you mean? 132 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:05,680 Well, Amy's going through a similar thing with Maya. 133 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:08,280 Is she? Is Maya knobbing an estate agent called Iain, as well? 134 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:09,920 No. I don't think Maya's into knobbing. 135 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,720 No, we don't know that Cherry's doing that. 136 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,840 That is just speculation. No, I know, I just... 137 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,160 I need to find out either way, it's driving me mad. 138 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:17,240 Buddy, buddy. 139 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:19,000 Well, you could go undercover. 140 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:20,360 What? How? 141 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,600 Like, uh, well, he's an estate agent, 142 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:26,200 so you could pretend to look at a house, and then suss him out. 143 00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:28,560 It's a bit shady, Sam. Yeah, and he knows what I look like. 144 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:30,400 He's already blocked me on Facebook, so... 145 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:32,480 OK, well, Dad could do it, couldn't he? 146 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:34,800 I've bought some new hidden cameras, so you can use them. 147 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:36,120 Well, you shouldn't have done. 148 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,120 Can you just stop buying cameras, please, Sam? 149 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:40,520 And would you be up for that, Paolo? Cos that would be great. 150 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,920 Um... Of course he would. Well, I mean, in theory, I could. 151 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,560 DOORBELL DINGS Yeah, of course he will. 152 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:46,640 OK, that's... Oh, here we go, here go. That's them. 153 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,320 During the war... Behave. 154 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:49,920 OK, just because they're old and dating 155 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,520 doesn't mean it's necessarily funny. 156 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:52,720 Yeah, don't panic, yeah. 157 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,960 Don't panic Mr Mainwaring, don't panic. 158 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,120 RACHEL LAUGHS Stop it. 159 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:57,720 Where's me dobber? Where's me dobber? 160 00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,360 I can't find me mint imperials. Dobber. 161 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:01,760 What is a dobber? Where's me mint imperials? I don't know. 162 00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:03,880 RACHEL LAUGHS Stop it, stop it, stop it. 163 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:05,080 OK. 164 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:08,720 Hiya. 165 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:09,960 Hi. 166 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:12,720 Who's... Who's that? 167 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,760 This is Alf. 168 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:16,640 Alf, this is Paul... Hello. 169 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:20,240 ..Rachel, Sammy with the camera, and Robin. 170 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:21,320 All right? 171 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:22,960 Uh, Alfredo, ciao. Hello. 172 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:24,320 Alfredo. 173 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:25,920 Wow, you are... 174 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,440 Italian, yes. 175 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:28,960 And, well, young. 176 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,840 Well... Young. 177 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:33,400 Come in. Come in. 178 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,200 Thank you. 179 00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:36,880 Lovely to meet you. 180 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:38,280 And to meet you. 181 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:42,320 And may I say, Paul, you know, your mother, she's a real treasure 182 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:45,320 and... Aw. ..a truly beautiful woman. 183 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:48,640 Ah, well, I suppose so. I don't really see it myself. 184 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:52,600 PAUL LAUGHS AWKWARDLY Oi, Rachel speaks Italian, Alf. 185 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,640 ALF SPEAKS ITALIAN 186 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,520 Io... Uh, si, va be...va mene. 187 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:05,640 Uh, io parlo un po...un pochetto. 188 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:11,920 Uh, o vivuto...vivuta in Italia a briefa...briefamente. 189 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,680 Yeah, I...I... 190 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,160 ..I lived in Italy briefly, in my 20s, yeah, si. 191 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:17,680 -Ah, brava. -In Genoa. 192 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:19,240 Oh, I am Ligurian. 193 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,440 Genoa is in Liguria. 194 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:26,040 Ah, si va be...va bene. Si. 195 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:28,800 Oh, gosh. Oh, wow, that's otti...ottimo. 196 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:33,160 Um, you can introduce me to all the local Ligurian, uh, Ligurians. 197 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:34,800 ALF SPEAKS ITALIAN 198 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,800 Oh, I have...I have a gift for you. Shall I? In the car. 199 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,640 Oh, yes. Yes? OK. It's two seconds. 200 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:41,880 Run and get it. Excuse me, excuse me, two seconds. 201 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,560 Molto bene. Oh, my goodness. 202 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:47,360 Wow, Italian Stallion. RACHEL LAUGHS 203 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:48,520 He seems nice. 204 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:51,240 Um, he seems young. 205 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:52,280 Yeah. 206 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:53,920 How old is he, Mum? 207 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,840 Erm, 60 odd, something like that. 208 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,320 Jump to the loo, actually. 209 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,360 God, how did you meet? 210 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:03,120 Well, we got talking in Boots. 211 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,840 I recommended a really good athlete's foot cream, 212 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,560 and we went on from there. 213 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:10,320 What do you know about him? Apart from he's got athlete's foot. 214 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:13,800 Um, well, uh, not a lot, really. 215 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:18,040 Um, he's been here about 20 years, he's got a restaurant. 216 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:21,600 Um, he's kind. Italian. Athletic. 217 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,680 Yeah. Hence the foot. RACHEL AND SUE LAUGH 218 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,520 And has he asked you to take out any money or sell the house or...? 219 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,360 RACHEL GROANS I'm just saying. Oh, God. 220 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,800 Don't be so stupid, of course not. Got to ruin it. 221 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:33,800 What are you talking about? It's not a scam, 222 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:37,320 like when criminals pretend to be policemen to rob old people, 223 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:40,280 it's just a mature Italian man who fancies your mum. 224 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,320 As any red-blooded male would, Sue. 225 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,040 Oh, thank you, Robin. 226 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:45,720 Well, not at all. 227 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:48,360 I'm just saying it's important to be alert, Mum, you know? 228 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,840 RACHEL SIGHS Watch out for gold diggers. 229 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:52,440 Oh, shut up. 230 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:54,000 What? I haven't got any gold, 231 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:56,800 and even if I did have, it's up to me what I do with it. 232 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,040 Exactly. Yeah, yeah. 233 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:01,080 Maybe I should sell the house anyway, it's far too big for me. 234 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:03,720 I mean, to be fair, he is handsome, isn't he? Is he ever. 235 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:06,960 Oh, God, don't tell me you've got the hots for my mum's new boyfriend. 236 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:09,680 Not "the hots", not "the hots", 237 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:12,080 but I do find Italian men very charming. 238 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:15,320 Oh, good. Wait till you taste his arancini balls. 239 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:17,400 Oh, please. ROBIN LAUGHS 240 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:19,240 Blimey, Sue, steady on, not in front of Sam. 241 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:20,880 SUE LAUGHS Can we...can we stop now? 242 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,080 I love that. That's excellent. This is... That's enough. 243 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:24,920 That's too much. Taste his balls. RACHEL LAUGHS 244 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,560 You've crossed a line, I'm afraid. Can we stop talking about how dishy 245 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,400 Alf is, please? Taste his balls. 246 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:31,840 Honestly, because it... You know, it's the male equivalent 247 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,280 of sexism, frankly. 248 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:34,760 Oh, shut up. No. 249 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:37,400 And, look, I'm just not that sure about him. That's all. 250 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:39,960 Well, of course you're not, he's dating your mother. 251 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,080 I think it's great, Sue, and I'm really excited 252 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:44,480 to finally meet someone who I can speak Italian with. 253 00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:45,520 Yeah. Yeah. 254 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,480 Or can't speak Italian with. 255 00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:48,720 What? What does that mean? 256 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,320 Well, you know, you just gesture and say "va be". 257 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:53,080 Va be. That's not speaking Italian, is it? 258 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,520 Yes, it is, that is Italian, va be. Hey, he's back, he's back, 259 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,640 he's back, he's back. Is it? Right. Yes, it means OK. 260 00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,320 Um, these are arancini, they're from my restaurant. 261 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,960 Oh, so, where's your, uh, restaurant, Al? 262 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:06,000 Uh, Girasole, on the Station Road. 263 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:07,720 Oh, right. Yeah, I know. 264 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,640 Yeah, you should go there, Paul, actually, some time. 265 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:12,520 It's fantastico. 266 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,200 Well, we're a bit strapped at the moment, Mum, you know, 267 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:16,560 hence the car-boot sale. 268 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:19,920 Yeah, Alf will treat you. Won't you, amore? 269 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,560 Yes, of course I will. 270 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:25,640 Uh, you and Rachel must come for a Ligurian meal. On me. 271 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,400 Oh. Ah, grazie mille, grazie. 272 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:29,880 Great, but what about what about me? Can I come? 273 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,200 Of course you can. Thanks, Sue. Lovely. 274 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,120 What does Girasole mean, Mum? 275 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,920 Ah, don't tell me. 276 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,840 Erm, gira, gira means turn, 277 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:40,680 and sole is alone. 278 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:45,200 Uh, the female plural of alone, solo... 279 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:47,400 Are you all right, Amy, love? 280 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,760 No. 281 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:50,960 What? Still not talking to Maya? 282 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:52,920 Yep. 283 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,520 What are those? 284 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,000 Arancini balls from Alf. 285 00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,320 Take as many as you like, he's got tonnes. 286 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:01,360 Uh, yeah, and so after the adjectival agreement, 287 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:04,120 it's some alone women turning. It means sunflower. 288 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,280 And therefore, sunflower, exactly, yeah. 289 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,960 My Italian's a bit rusty, to be honest. Is it? 290 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:11,480 I've been thinking of doing an evening class, actually. Yeah. 291 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:13,440 Brava, brava. Have you? Cool. 292 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:16,920 Put that camera down, Sammy, and put this in your gob. 293 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,360 You won't regret it. Right. 294 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:19,920 Um, can I take a few home? 295 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,880 Hey, you made it. 296 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:25,040 Oh, here we go. Get your wits about you, mate. 297 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:26,920 Here we go. 298 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,640 Can we share your Pizza Diavola? 299 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:29,920 No. No way. 300 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,120 I don't want to share your polenta. Not a chance. 301 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,400 Buona sera. Buona sera, tutti. 302 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:35,680 Ah, there he is. 303 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:37,440 Buona sera. Bottle in a basket. 304 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:39,320 Thanks again for this. Yeah, it's OK. 305 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,560 I just didn't expect so many of you. 306 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,360 Well, you offered to treat us, amore. 307 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:46,720 Yes, you, your son, his wife... 308 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,280 Sorry, who is this man? 309 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:50,000 Oh, I'm Dean, I'm just a friend of Robin's. 310 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:51,440 Yeah, and I'm Robin, we've met. 311 00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:53,520 Ah, yes, and this is? 312 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:55,720 Uh, Bren, from number 71. 313 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:59,560 Her judo was cancelled, so I thought I'd bring her along. 314 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:02,800 Oh, I'm so up for this, I've only really had Pot Noodles all term. 315 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:04,160 Thought I was getting scurvy. 316 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:05,920 Hi, guys. Hiya, you all right? All right? 317 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,680 Yeah. Oh, hi, Sue. Thank you so much. 318 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:11,120 Aw, glad you made it. 319 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,400 Hiya, Maya. 320 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:15,520 Oh, and we need one more chair, amore, for Maya here. 321 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,000 Oh, hi, ciao, thanks for having me. 322 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:21,880 Yes, OK, I will get some chairs from the, uh, basement. 323 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:25,240 You know, I hoped you would experience a range 324 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:29,200 of Ligurian dishes, not order eight identical pizzas 325 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,160 and some garlic bread, you know? 326 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:33,920 Si, scusa, sono d'accorda, Alf, I agree. 327 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,240 I did order the polenta. 328 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:38,040 And to be fair, I'm getting a side salad, so... He is, actually, yeah. 329 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:42,280 OK, well, then perhaps, you know, if I cover the food, 330 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:44,040 you will pay for the drinks? 331 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:46,240 Oh, va be, va bene. Yeah, good idea, thanks. 332 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,440 Oh, well, in that case, we'll just have the house red. 333 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:50,280 We don't need the Chianti Classico. 334 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:53,680 Actually, posso order a limoncello? 335 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:58,400 Limoncello? No. Limoncello, we don't sell. It's for tourists. 336 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,120 Oh. Ooh. 337 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,320 Are you sure this is all right, Granny? 338 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,320 It feels like we're definitely taking the piss. 339 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,200 Of course it is, fill your boots. 340 00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:09,360 Mm, yeah, don't mind if I do. ROBIN LAUGHS 341 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,920 Fill my belly. Oh, God. Oh, my God. 342 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,320 What? Dad, who is that? 343 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:16,000 It's one of the estate agents from our undercover operation. 344 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:18,440 From your what? Oh, God, I'll explain later. 345 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:21,360 It's not Iain, is it? I'll beat the bloody hot crap out of him if it is. 346 00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:23,520 All right. How could it be Iain? They're both women. 347 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:25,760 Well, I don't know, do I? You found out diddly shit. 348 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,360 Yeah, all right, I said I was sorry. 349 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:30,080 Look, just ignore them, ignore them. 350 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:33,080 Iain didn't have a clue. Honestly, I am still buzzing, 351 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:36,400 that was intense, in a good way. Sam. OK. 352 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:39,560 And, I mean, how, uh, Scottish is he? 353 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:43,000 How do you mean? Well, on a spectrum from like Rab C Nesbitt 354 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:44,640 to David Tennant? 355 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,760 Kind of feels like you're asking how handsome he is. 356 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:47,920 I think I am. 357 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,400 Right, here we go, then, Dad. 358 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:50,760 Oh, God. 359 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:52,560 Don't know if I can face this. 360 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,240 This is so exciting. 361 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:56,800 Are you excited? What's that? What floor is this? 362 00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:58,240 That's my bag. Right. 363 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:01,240 I think it's the third. Wait, wait till you see this. 364 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:02,440 So, in here... 365 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,800 That's me. That's me. Yep, I know. 366 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:08,200 Are you looking for something for yourself to live in, then, Edwin? 367 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:09,240 Edwin? 368 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:11,440 I had to use a fake name, obviously. 369 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:12,960 But Edwin, though? 370 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:14,800 Well... 371 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:17,160 I mean, you weren't meant to just film yourself, Paolo, 372 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,720 I know what you look like. Yeah, I realised that in a minute. 373 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,080 Are you single then, Iain? 374 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:23,840 Nice one, Dad, real subtle. 375 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:26,040 Well, I'm not married. 376 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,440 Right. But are you... 377 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,680 I mean, are you seeing anyone or...? 378 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:32,680 Of course you are. Of course you are, 379 00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:36,320 a handsome stud...stud muffin like yourself must be. 380 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,120 Stud muffin? 381 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,840 Well, I don't know about that. 382 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,800 Dodging the question, isn't he? 383 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,720 There you go, see? I point the camera at him from now on. 384 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,320 Well, that's not helpful either. 385 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,720 Well, I wasn't planning on filming that bit. 386 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,400 Oh, lovely, really glad you got that on camera, Dad. 387 00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:55,920 DOORBELL DINGS 388 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,240 Doorbell. 389 00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:00,200 Do you ever go eat with someone else or...? Paul, doorbell. 390 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:03,560 Can you get that, hon? We're doing our undercover operation. 391 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:05,760 Film his face. Why didn't you just film his face? 392 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:10,280 Hey. I managed to nab some tiramisus from Girasole on my way out, 393 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,360 so I thought I'd drop them round. 394 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:15,760 Nabbed them? As in, did you steal them? Yeah? 395 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:18,480 No, Alf doesn't mind. 396 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:19,720 Hiya Sammy, love. 397 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:20,960 Hi, Granny. 398 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:22,680 And are these plates from Alf, as well? 399 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:27,040 Oh, no, no, I found them outside. Can you believe it? 400 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:29,760 Now, there is a box of stuff on your wall. 401 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:31,680 They're the same as yours. 402 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:33,000 Yeah. Isn't that amazing? 403 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,160 Yeah, these are ours, Sue. 404 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:36,760 Yeah. Oh, I see. 405 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:39,400 Well, don't leave them outside, someone's going to take them. 406 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,800 That's the idea, we're trying to get rid of the stuff 407 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:43,680 we didn't sell at the car-boot sale. 408 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:46,360 Oh, I see. How did it go? 409 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:50,160 Very badly, as you can see. We sold virtually nothing. 410 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,840 And the little we did make, 411 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:55,000 Paul spent on a horrible Russian hat. 412 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,280 Oh. 413 00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:57,520 SUE BURPS 414 00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,480 Oh, my God. Oh, God, are you all right, Granny? 415 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:02,960 Oh, God. Oh, too much gnocchi. 416 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:06,240 Nockie? As in like...sex? 417 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,200 Not nookie. No, gnocchi. 418 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:11,040 Gnocchi, the Italian potato pasta pellets. 419 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:12,960 Oh, I just keep popping them in. 420 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:14,920 He can't cook them fast enough. 421 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,040 They're like little chewie tic tacs. 422 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:18,960 Oh... Oh, dear. 423 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:22,160 Oh, I think I'm going to have to go back to the ravioli tomorrow. 424 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,720 OK, so you're basically having all your meals there now, are you? 425 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,440 Yeah, I am. Yeah, I see. 426 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,920 Oh, you've started to learn Italian, then, Rachel? 427 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,760 Yes, yes. Well, relearning it. 428 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:32,920 Yeah, had my first evening class last week, 429 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,800 so, yeah, I'm already hard at it. 430 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,880 At what? Looking at pictures of mid-'90s Italian footballer players? 431 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,120 Yeah, no, that's research. That's research purposes. 432 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,480 Yeah, no, I have to say, I am really loving it, 433 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:46,320 you know, sitting in a classroom, learning. 434 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:47,720 It is a bit basic for me, 435 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:51,000 but I do get a bit flustered when I have to speak it, though. 436 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,720 You know, I know all the Italian words, 437 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:56,200 I just can't talk them together correctly, 438 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,520 you know, in the correct grammar order. 439 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,080 Well, yeah, but you have that same problem in English, as well. 440 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,480 I'm better after I've had a couple of drinks, to be honest. 441 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:05,200 Oh, yeah? I lived there when I was 23, 442 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,600 and was basically drunk the whole time. 443 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,240 SUE LAUGHS After a few limoncellos, 444 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:10,640 it all just pours out of me. 445 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:12,520 Yeah, well, take some into class with you. 446 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,640 Have a few snifters as you go. 447 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,800 Now, who wants a tiramisu? 448 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:19,800 Yes! Yes, I do. 449 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,480 Yeah. OK, then, Paul. 450 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:23,760 There you go. 451 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:25,240 Oh, hiya, Robin. 452 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:26,600 Ciao, Sue. 453 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:28,960 Ah, what are you watching? Homes Under the Hammers? 454 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:30,120 No, no. 455 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,640 Paul. You never told me you were on Homes Under the Hammers. 456 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,720 No. I'm not. No, he's not, he's not, Sue, 457 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,880 it's a hidden camera thing that Sam made. 458 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,120 Oh. 459 00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,480 What... Oh, it's a nice flat though, isn't it? 460 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,120 Well, it's overpriced, I thought. For that money, you'd want a, 461 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,360 you know, separate kitchen and living room, really. 462 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,000 Well, you weren't there to buy it, so it doesn't matter, does it? 463 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:50,680 Yeah, well, I know that, I'm just saying. 464 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,800 What was that about tiramisu? Oh, here you go, love. 465 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:55,360 No, we cannot... We shouldn't be eating tiramisu as breakfast. 466 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:57,680 Why not? It's got coffee in it. Is there underfloor 467 00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:00,280 heating throughout? You were meant to ask about Cherry, 468 00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:02,000 Paolo, not the underfloor heating. 469 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:06,080 Well, I'm not Serpico, OK? You know? 470 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:07,760 I'm new to all this. 471 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:12,000 I know what to ask next time, mate. I will nail it, I promise. OK? 472 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:14,160 Eccolo, sette pizze la Diavola. 473 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:15,640 Lovely. 474 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,720 Pane al'aglio, tantissimo pane al'aglio per lei. 475 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,440 Insalata mista per lui. 476 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:21,960 Go on, Bren. Lovely. 477 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:23,000 And the polenta for you. 478 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,240 Ah, per me, le polenta, grazie. So juicy. 479 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,760 You, uh, you have enough space? 480 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:28,720 Oh, yeah, we're fine, thanks, amore. 481 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,920 Yeah, no more people now, we promise. 482 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:34,120 Oh, uh, could I have some ketchup please, bro? Pardon me? 483 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,640 Uh, lui chiede per un po di zucco pomodoro... 484 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:41,320 Erm, uh, you know, uh... 485 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,280 Tomato ketchup. 486 00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:45,880 Yeah, ketchup, no, I don't have it, sorry. 487 00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:48,240 I could nip home and get some. It'll only take a second. 488 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:50,600 Oh, quals. Yeah, you could pick up my limoncello as well. 489 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:51,960 Yeah, no, wait, why stop there? 490 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,160 Why don't you bring the television from home, as well? 491 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,200 Could do, actually, there's a UEFA Cup game on. 492 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,800 This is my restaurant, it's not your house. 493 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:00,720 You cannot bring your own food and drink here. 494 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,520 Yeah, scusi, scusi about that. 495 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,800 No, we're not scusi, don't scusi him. 496 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:06,440 We're not scusi at all. 497 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:09,000 Just stop overreacting, will you? 498 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:10,720 And bring us some more tap water. 499 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:11,880 Yes, great. 500 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,280 I used to know the word for ketchup, but I just... 501 00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:16,640 Please excuse me. Pizza's lovely. Grazie. 502 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:20,120 Cheers. Cheers, Alf. He can be a real fusspot sometimes. 503 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,400 I mean, he's got a point. 504 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:25,080 This table is clearly not made for nine of us. 505 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,240 Yeah, but we're creating an atmosphere, aren't we? 506 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,160 Yeah, yeah. And that's good for business. 507 00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,280 Exactly. He should be grateful, if anything. 508 00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:33,160 Really? Should be grateful for business. 509 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,600 But we've just eaten all his food. 510 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,520 Brenda, can you pass the chilli oil? 511 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,800 I'm thanking him for this pizza. Do we need knives and forks? 512 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:40,560 How's that? 513 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,400 Yeah, it's fine. It's not too obvious? 514 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:46,000 Look, as long as it gets Iain's face, OK, rather than his crotch, 515 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,440 that's what matters, Sam. Hiya. 516 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,240 Aren't you meant to be at your evening class thing? 517 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:53,120 Yep, they kicked me out. 518 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,600 Why? What did you do? What? 519 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,600 Why do you immediately assume it was my fault? 520 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,640 Well, was it your fault? 521 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,040 Yes, I got caught drinking limoncello, 522 00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:03,080 and the teacher suggested I sign up 523 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,920 for the AA meetings there on Thursdays. 524 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,800 Limoncello? What? Where'd you get that from? 525 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,880 They don't sell that at the tuck shop, do they? 526 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,480 I smuggled it in my handbag. Oh, my God. 527 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,280 Oh, my God, drinking limoncello at school, 528 00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:15,160 that's like something Drew Barrymore would've done. Well, it helps me 529 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:18,040 speak Italian, OK? That's it. It's not an alcohol problem. 530 00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:20,920 It's an alcohol solution. Exactly, thank you, Robin. 531 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,720 You can't speak Italian, just admit it. 532 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,160 I can speak Italian. 533 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,680 I can, and I will prove it when I next meet Alf 534 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,240 and get in with the local Ligurians. 535 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:31,880 Well, I wouldn't get too excited. Mum's going off him. 536 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,600 Are you? What? Don't go off him, no, get back on him. 537 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,240 Why go off him? He's great. 538 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:40,000 He's been extremely sulky recently, for an Italian. 539 00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:42,680 And he had a right face on him today 540 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,600 when I dropped in to take that lasagne out the freezer. 541 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,760 What? He doesn't make them fresh? Well, that's lazy. 542 00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:52,440 Says the person who's still in their pyjamas at 6:40pm. 543 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:53,640 THEY LAUGH 544 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:55,320 I'm heartbroken. 545 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,720 There we go. It's a triumph I'm even out of bed. 546 00:20:57,800 --> 00:20:58,960 Yeah, OK. 547 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,560 Anyway, you can talk. What? 548 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:03,320 You're only doing this Italian class to distract you 549 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,000 from doing your actual job because you hate it so much. 550 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,560 Just like Dad's doing this undercover bullshit... 551 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:10,920 Well, hang on. ..because he's got nothing else to do. 552 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,040 What? And, yeah, we all know Cherry's betrayed you, Robin. 553 00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:16,080 That's just what life is. 554 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:18,800 Being knifed in the heart by people you love. 555 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,160 Wow. 556 00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,800 Oh, my Godfathers, give it a rest, will you? 557 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:24,840 It's like having dinner with Morrissey. 558 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:26,120 What? 559 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,800 In fact, pass me the pepper, would you, please? 560 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:32,160 You're going to be late, Dad. 561 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,240 Huh? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 562 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:36,120 ROBIN SIGHS Hey, listen, don't listen to her, 563 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:39,240 buddy. She's upset and annoying. PHONE RINGS 564 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,760 And, you know, let's go film this guy. Yeah. 565 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,680 OK? OK. OK, buddy? Yes. 566 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:44,880 Film him in the face. Yeah. 567 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:46,680 Here you go. Love you, Paolo. 568 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:51,000 Did you... Did you call Maya? 569 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,800 You're welcome. 570 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,560 Hey. 571 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:59,000 Uh, no, er, no, I didn't, actually. 572 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,440 Granny just called you. 573 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:03,880 Uh, yeah. Are you OK? 574 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,280 Edwin? Hi. Hi. I'm Diane. 575 00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:07,920 Oh, hello. 576 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:11,200 Um, I...I was expecting Iain, is he coming? 577 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,320 No, I'm showing you round today. 578 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:18,120 Ah, OK. Um, it's just that it really does need to be Iain. 579 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,400 Hmm. Um, so can you call the office? 580 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,120 It's just that I...I just really trust him, man to man. 581 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,920 Not that I don't trust women. My accountant's a woman. 582 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,440 Um, I just would prefer it to be Iain. 583 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:32,040 Yeah. Look, I'm going to be totally honest with you, Edwin. 584 00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:35,080 Iain didn't feel comfortable coming to meet you again. 585 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,400 Oh, right? Apparently at the last viewing, 586 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,440 you asked him some very personal questions, 587 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,720 and kept complimenting him on his appearance, and... 588 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,760 Well, I didn't keep doing it. ..we have had people in the past 589 00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:48,280 pretending to be interested in our properties in order to pick up men. 590 00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:49,840 Oh, well, I wasn't doing that. 591 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,520 I know it can be difficult to meet people, especially at your age, 592 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:56,120 but... I'm only 45. ..it is harassment, legally speaking, 593 00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:57,600 and a waste of our time. 594 00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:59,920 Well, I want to buy the flat for my mum. 595 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,640 That's why I'm here. Honestly. 596 00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:04,560 There's been some sort of misunderstanding. 597 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:07,320 Please, I really want to see the flat. 598 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:13,160 OK. So if... Yeah. Yeah, OK. Come on up. Thank you. 599 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:16,240 Oh, that was amazing. Wow, grazie mille. 600 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:18,040 Thank you. Prego, prego. Top notch. 601 00:23:18,120 --> 00:23:20,440 Wow. Buonissimo. Perfection. 602 00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,880 Does anyone want my salad? I don't think I actually want it. 603 00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:24,280 You don't? Yeah, I'll take a leaf. 604 00:23:24,360 --> 00:23:26,400 There was a delicate balance of chilli in the sauce, 605 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,280 that I found was so delicious. Edwin? 606 00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:31,080 Cos it's just moreish, it's not too hot. Edwin, sorry to interrupt. 607 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,600 Edwin. That's you, Dad. Oh, yeah. 608 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,880 Yes, sorry, no, yes, that's me. Um, Diane. 609 00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,760 Yes. Sorry. Hi. Yeah. That's OK, sorry. How are you? 610 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:40,440 Yeah, good, good. I won't keep you long. 611 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:42,840 It's just I've been trying to call you. Yeah? 612 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:44,680 No, uh, my phone's been on silent. 613 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:47,200 The vendor's accepted your offer. Ah. 614 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,520 Have they? That's fantastic news. 615 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:51,800 You made an offer? 616 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:53,120 Yep, we made an offer. 617 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:54,440 Congratulations, Edwin. 618 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:55,720 Yep. Thank you. 619 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:57,720 There was another offer at the same level, 620 00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,240 but the vendor said they were so touched by what you said 621 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,560 about your mum getting all lonely in her big house, 622 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:06,160 wanting somewhere a bit smaller... Yeah. ..nearer you and the family. 623 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,040 Right, well, yeah, I suppose I do. 624 00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:11,000 Aw, you must be Edwin's mother. 625 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,440 Yes. I am, yeah. Yeah. Edwina. 626 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:15,320 Oh. And I'm Edward, the brother-in-law. 627 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:16,680 Don't all do it. Wow. 628 00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,920 I mean, that's great, that's great. Thank you so much. 629 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:24,040 And, I'm so sorry again about all that confusion with Iain, I... 630 00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:25,800 Oh, it's fine, it's OK. 631 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:27,760 Ask her about... Ask her about him. 632 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,000 Huh? Ask her about him. 633 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:30,520 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, go on. 634 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:31,920 Ask her about Iain. 635 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,320 Yeah, it's... 636 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:34,600 Cos the thing is... 637 00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:35,920 Yeah? 638 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,080 Does he have a girlfriend... 639 00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:39,560 ..though, Iain? 640 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,080 I'm sorry, Edwin, I don't understand. 641 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:45,640 Why do you want to know? 642 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:48,480 I...I just really, really... 643 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:52,920 ..need to know. I'm just so bloody curious, you know? 644 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:54,960 We all are. We're a curious family. 645 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:58,040 We are, we are. So just tell us. Please, just tell us. 646 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:03,400 I...I think, yeah. 647 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:04,960 Yeah. Right. 648 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,160 He just met someone on a Buddhist retreat. 649 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:08,560 Oh, God. 650 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:11,440 ROBIN GROANS Oh, God. 651 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,360 OK, nice to see you. Nice to see you. OK, thanks, Diane. 652 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:16,360 Oh, Robin, I'm so sorry. 653 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:18,400 I'm so, so, sorry. 654 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,360 Oh, dear. 655 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:21,680 No, I knew it. I knew it. 656 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:23,200 Have some of this. ROBIN GROANS 657 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,680 It will not help exactly, but it's so sweet 658 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:27,720 you basically can't think about anything else. 659 00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,600 Cool, thanks for that. Here you go, brother. 660 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:31,360 I don't want the salad, Dean. 661 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,920 And obviously, I'll pull out, Mum, you know, of the purchase. 662 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,760 Yeah, well, let's see the details first. 663 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:37,320 Uh, that is rancid. 664 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:38,480 It is very warm in here. 665 00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:40,560 Eight tiramisu and eight crostata. Ah, si, si, si. 666 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,840 I'm excited for these. Oh, yeah, they're amazing, 667 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,320 I've had a lot of these. Oh, yeah? 668 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,320 It looks lovely, actually, Paul. 669 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:48,080 Yeah, with a balcony. 670 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:51,440 No, no, assolutemente no. 671 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:52,640 Stop. Out. 672 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,240 Uscite, all of you. Adesso. Now, please. 673 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,640 What? Is this a joke? 674 00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:59,720 I see you pouring your own drink. Yes, si, si, si. 675 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:01,880 You refuse to pay for mine and you sneak in your own? 676 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,160 What is? No, please. Yeah, but you don't sell it, 677 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,120 so what's she supposed to do? 678 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:10,000 Exactly, si, si. E solo perche o bisogno uh bisogno di della 679 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:13,200 limoncello per parlare Italiano. No, please stop trying to speak Italian. 680 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,440 It's painful and sad. 681 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:18,360 OK, you visited, on holiday, but that is all. 682 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:19,840 You must not try to speak it. 683 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:26,160 Even so, stop being a silly salami, and let us have our puddings. 684 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,920 You all right, Rach? In fact, who would like a bit of cheese? 685 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,320 Yeah. Anyone? Yeah? Yeah. I would. Robin, Dean, yeah, Maya. 686 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:34,400 No, come on, guys. No...No. 687 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:38,560 No? No, enough, it's too much. 688 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:41,160 You take, take, take, always taking things from my restaurant. 689 00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,480 Well, yeah, to give to her family, mainly. 690 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,000 She's sort of like Robin Hood, but with tiramisu. 691 00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:47,800 Yeah, yeah, yeah, Robin Pud. 692 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,440 LAUGHTER That's a good one. 693 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:54,120 See, the thing is, Alf, is that, you know, this is just Mum's vibe. 694 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:55,480 She's a bit of a feeder. 695 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,680 Yeah, she's a food digger. 696 00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:59,520 A what? Is that a thing? 697 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,840 Sue, you're not interested in me, you're only with me for my food, no? 698 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:10,320 I've not been interested in anyone since my Les died, Alf. 699 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:14,720 Only my family. Sorry. 700 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:20,680 You're a lovely man, though. And you're a great cook. 701 00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:21,960 Well... 702 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:26,480 So, is that a no to cheese? 703 00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:28,680 Yes. No cheese. No cheese. 704 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:30,120 Please, I would like you to leave. 705 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,200 Yeah, I want to leave. I want to leave. 706 00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:33,760 Yeah, just two ticks. 707 00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:35,600 Please, do not come back. 708 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:38,960 Thank you for a lovely evening. Aw, you're welcome, Bren. 709 00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:40,880 OK, everyone. Shall we? Let's go. 710 00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:44,720 Yeah, come on then. Good, good. Yeah. 711 00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:49,080 Thank you. Hey, Rach, come on. All right? 712 00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:51,440 Empty nights, without you in my arms. 713 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,160 Empty words, your promises transformed. 714 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:57,160 I trusted you, I thought about you, 715 00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:00,440 when you were with her, when you forgot me. 716 00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:02,880 Sitting with no one, looked at the moon, 717 00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:06,640 alone, alone, queste notti e parole vuote. 718 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:09,840 Whoa, nice one, Mum. Wow. 719 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,600 Whoa, that was hot. Really hot. 720 00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:13,960 Thanks very much. 721 00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,200 Blimey, Rachel, what was that? 722 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:18,520 Um, it was just an Italian Eurovision entry 723 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:19,920 I memorised years ago. 724 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,800 It wasn't relevant to the situation in any way. 725 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:24,640 Still Italian though, right? 726 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:27,640 Si. Si. 727 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,000 Si, vediamo. Oh. Love it. 728 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:31,440 Now we're talking. 729 00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:33,840 Ah, Roberto Baggio. 730 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:35,120 Ravanelli. 731 00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:36,600 Yeah, Batistuta. 732 00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:39,400 Yeah, no, he's Argentinian, mate. Is he? Yeah, he is, yeah.